There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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