are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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