I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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