It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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