I just made out with a guy for $7.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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