well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
