I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
