this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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