if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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