you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
