It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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