Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
