Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
