Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
