don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
