Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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