If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
