I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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