dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
