i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
