Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sorry about my life...
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