Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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