Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
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jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
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Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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