It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
