Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
