who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
