My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
