I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize