Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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