David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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