I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My feet surprised me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
