I just saw a hot homeless man
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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