I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
