your parents love me but you hate me
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
