Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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