Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
