I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
