What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
