He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
