she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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