Plan B is the new Plan A
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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