I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have post one night stand depression
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