the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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