During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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