Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
