what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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