The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
