Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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