Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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