You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
