As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
