At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
