And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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