i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
