You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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