Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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