If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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