she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment