can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?