D3 body, D1 cock
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life