it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.