bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
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I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.