so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
