Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
